If Only

September 25, 2009

From Last Left Turn Before Hooterville:

Illegal criminals, take notice – Conservative Americans are taking back their jobs!

Yes, from the ashes of the failed Minute-Man Movement, the Gimme Back My Job, Dammit Coalition (GBMJ,DC) has risen, and it has spread like wildfire among conservatives sick and tired of illegals taking the jobs from deserving American citizens. No longer content to wait for the government to do it for them, these patriots have taken matters into their own hands. Now they’re doing more than just protesting or watching from the sidelines – they’re taking back their Constitutional, God-given right to a job. Suddenly, you see them everywhere – on the sidewalk with a leaf-blower strapped to their back, in the parking lot of your favorite restaurant with the keys to your car or inside, balancing a heavy-laden bus tray full of dirty dishes as they adroitly refill your iced tea glass on their way back to the kitchen. You may find them bent over in a lettuce field under a blistering sun with a rake in their hand, or endangering their limbs with casually-maintained but lethally sharp meat-cutting machinery for fourteen hours or more a day while earning somewhere around three dollars an hour, with no benefits, medical insurance, workman’s compensation, or even bathroom breaks.

Most of them say they’ve never been happier.

“For the first time in my life, I feel needed,” says Coalition member Chuck B. Liggett, 70, a former accountant who now works in a chicken-packing plant in Amarillo, Texas. “When the floor boss screams at me for slowing down, I feel a surge of pride because what I do actually matters. Now, I do an honest day’s work for my pay, and by the time I collapse on my filthy mattress on the floor of my stinking room at the end of my fifteen-hour shift, I know I really earned that forty dollars!”

If only the teabagging christianists of the Racist Right weren’t immune to both logic and irony….


Satire?

September 8, 2009

Yes – but be honest…

You know that plenty of Faux News viewers have uttered the exact same words and meant them.


The Parody That Almost Makes Me Feel Sorry for the Morons Who Concocted the NOM ‘Storm’ Ad

April 16, 2009

Presented without further comment:


Varnum v. Brien – The Effect

April 14, 2009

A former student of mine passed this along to me.

Enjoy.


Iowa: Double Your Fun, Double Your Entendre

April 13, 2009

Salient – or perhaps salacious – analysis of the ramifications of Iowa’s Varnum v. Brien:

Do we really believe Iowa’s trademark farmer’s tan can survive this?   Iowa was built by men who rarely had sex with their wives, let alone each other.

Same-sex marriage…

Build it.  They will…

You get the idea.

BTW – the title of the above-quoted piece?  “Field of Queens.”

I guess it could be worse.

Field of Tweens?

Oh wait…

The Hannah Montana movie just came out didn’t it?

Arrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I’d Buy That For a Dollar!

November 25, 2008

I wouldn’t watch it, of course, but I might buy it just on general principle.


Who Won the Debate?

October 8, 2008

(Graphics from various commenters over at Pam’s House Blend)


Could We Scare Her Away by Playing a Slim Whitman Record?

September 29, 2008

Oh…


That Slim Whitman thing happened in Mars Attacks, didn’t it?

My bad.


We Need a Superficial Conversation About Trans-Inclusion

August 29, 2008

(Apologies to The Onion; no apologies to St. Barney)

LGBT people need to put aside their differences and come together on common ground. Especially at this crucial moment in our history. How better, I ask, to achieve this goal than to engage in an inconclusive, protracted, ignorant, and superficial examination of the issue of trans-inclusion in federal and state civil rights legislation?

The time for vagueness is now.

In the decades since Stonewall, our movement has become intensely polarized. The gap between gay and trans has grown ever more vast. Those on both sides are desperate for alternatives. If we ever hope to move into a new era of enlightened exchange, we must foster, on a movement-wide scale, a second-grade-level look into the most painful and difficult issue in the history of the LGBT movement.

Assimilationist gay, Janice Raymond-loving lesbian, MTF, or FTM — we can all be callously summed up in a trite, substanceless statement of unity.

Like it or not, the movement needs a stupid conversation on the issue of trans-inclusion. Perhaps more importantly, we need this stupid dialogue to be couched in the most self-righteous, know-it-all attitudes on the part of those involved, as if they have no idea whatsoever of how much more complicated the issue is, and how little their one-dimensional approach to it brings to the table.

It’s our duty to put aside the complexities of communication between trans people and non-trans gays and lesbians and focus on the first idea that comes to mind. Then, after we’ve wasted 20 minutes discussing whether a non-inclusive ENDA is of any benefit to trans people (or anyone else), we can repeat the first idea over and over until we have alienated all listeners who did not already agree with us at the beginning.

Is that so very hard?

I’m talking about ill-informed citation of dubious polling data about the feelings of rank-and-file gays and lesbians toward trans-inclusion. I’m talking about patronizing notions of inclusion, like pointing to the existence of an individual trans employee as proof that inclusion is real. I’m talking about multisyllabic, intellectual-sounding terms like ”machinations” and “concealment” and even “mutilation.”

The time has come to start saying foolish, foolish things about the men in ladies’ showers once again.  How long has it been?  A whole week?

It’s been too long since we sat down and shared long-discredited arguments asserting that incrmentalism actually is a more successful path to trans-inclusive legislation than inclusion in the first instance. Terms like “trans-jacking” should be revitalized and put back in the spotlight. And while we’re being open and honest, why not trot out that old chestnut about the unfairness of trans-only usage of “tranny.”

I dare the head of one of the major gay rights groups to blanket the media with buzzwords like “LGBT marriage,” without ever examining the underlying implications of what they might mean (who needs to contemplate what a bisexual marriage, much less a trans marriage, is anyway?). That would be the day.

I likewise dare the head of one of the major gay rights groups to blanket the media with the notion that, ‘once we get same-sex marriage, what sex you are won’t matter at all for anything’ without ever examining the fact that some people are transsexual and single and occasionally find themselves needing to use the restroom.

Assimilationists and the reality-based alike, hear my plea: We can all say incredibly silly things about who does or does not have the “right” to “protection” of the law.

Since the emergence of an organized gay rights movement, trans has been the movement’s “dirty little secret”—an ugly, shameful reality swept under the rug of polite discourse, emerging only in isolated, angry outbursts about ENDA, the hiring practices of the Human Rights Campaign, and Barney Frank’s obsession with bathroom usage by transsexual women. Let’s take that issue out from under the rug—keeping that initial phase of ignorance, lack of mutual understanding, and fear—and make sure it dominates American – not just gay – politics for the next century.

Only by opening an embarrassingly one- dimensional dialogue on the most simple and wholly ignorant level can we ensure that we, as a nation, never get down to the deeper issues about trans-inclusion that truly threaten to tear this sexual minority civil rights movement apart.

Who’s with me?


Just to Show I Can Say Something Good About Queer Channel Media

August 14, 2008

It does have an instructive lesson on the difference between Log Cabin-oids and reality-centered people:

Oh well - even Duane Kuiper managed to hit one home run.