Was one attempt to bring Myra Breckinridge to the screen enough? Apparently not.
From The Advocate:
“The wizened beauty of the natural order of the film industry’s meritocracy has shone through once again,” Earl Lindner, a publicist for Paramount exclaimed in accompaniment to the studio’s announcement that Israel Luna, a former gay prostitute who has gained notoriety for his empowering low-budget epic Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives, has been tapped to direct a big-budget remake of the 1970 anti-classic Myra Breckinridge. “Luna has proven that he, perhaps better than anyone currently in the film industry, understands what transsexualism is really all about. This will aid him greatly in crafting the ultimate tool to creatively educate America about transsexualim.”
No casting decisions have been made, though insiders say that Jim Carrey has expressed interest in Buck Loner (played by John Huston in the 1970 version) and 1970’s Myra, Raquel Welch has been contacted about the role of Letitia Van Allen, notoriously protrayed in the original by Mae West. Most interestingly, regarding the title role serious discussions have taken place with noted drag queen RuPaul and Anthony Tyler Quinn, who once played a transgender character in the short-lived FOX television series Ask Harriet.
“I feel the time has come for a new attempt to capture the essence of Myra Breckinridge in celluloid format,” Vidal said from his vacation home in Italy. “Clearly, one of the problems with the 1970 version was that director Michael Sarne – as well as the gang of nobodies he had in his drug-infested orbit – were under the delusion that there actually is such a thing as a transsexual. I’m almost 85 and the closest I’ve come to a vagina was my occasional close proximity to William F. Buckley’s brain in front of ABC’s news cameras back in 1968 and even I don’t believe that there’s such a thing as a homosexual, much less a transsexual.
And, it looks like the Luna-tick himself is already all hot and moist over the notion of being illegitimately legitimized even further:
“I had to wipe away tears when it became official” Luna said during an early-morning interview conducted in the men’s room at the Dallas bar J.R.’s. “I’m just your ordinary gay guy who hates to see other gay guys cut off their dicks. Paramount deserves a Nobel prize for giving me the opportunity to get my message out to as wide of an audience as possible.”
And apparently the big guns are going to be employed to make sure that Ticked-Off Quasi-Tranny With Dildo: The Next Generation actually happens:
Noted corporate lobbyist, former head of the Recording Industry Association of America and Human Rights Campaign (HRC) insider Hilary Rosen has decided to tak a leave from her recently-undertaken duties of media spinning for BP following the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster to help Isreal Luna pre-emptively attack the likely critics of his newest project, a remake of the 1970 transsexual-themed movie Myra Breckinridge.
“I initially decided to turn down the Myra Breckinridge project,” Rosen said in an interview this weekend, “but after Tony Hayward allowed himself to be seen in public with his yacht, I decided that BP was a lost cause. And, I recall vividly what all of those lowlife transsexual bloggers did to those wonderful scholars Michael Bailey and Alice Dreger a few years ago – and what some of them did to Mr. Luna to try to prevent his current movie from being shown. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t use my skills to make sure that a fine young gay talent like that never has to suffer such an indignity again.”
“And, of course,” she added with a sparkly wink reminiscent of Sarah Palin, “the price was right.”
I did notice one item about this impending mess that seems a bit saner than the actual notion of a Myra remake:
Upon learning of the impending Luna-hemled remake of Myra, transsexual legal historian Katrina Rose, known for conclusively disproving the historical underpinning of the homosexual-centric politico-legal strategy of ‘incremental progress,’ remarked, “The ENDABlog post about a remake of Myra Brekinridge is filed under ‘satire.’ However, be honest with yourselves: Until this was pointed out to you, I bet you believed every word of it was real.”