If this doesn’t get what’s left of American sanity in a boiling mad uproar, then we are truly lost.
I REALLY wish that this was from The Onion, but it appears to be a real story:
A fund manager for Smith Barney is getting off without felony charges after he allegedly ran over a cyclist with his Mercedes and fled the scene in Eagle, Colorado, because, the DA says, felony charges would be bad for the fund manager’s business.
Martin Joel Erzinger will not be charged with a felony because “Felony convictions have some pretty serious job implications for someone in Mr. Erzinger’s profession,” according to District Attorney Mark Hurlbert.
Erzinger oversees over $1 billion in assets for “ultra high net worth individuals, their families and foundations,” according to Worth.
I hereby declare that every non-millionaire incarcerated in Colorado – for a similar felony charge or, for that matter, anything – now has a get-out-of-jail-free equal protection claim.
If this worthless piece of garbage:
can butcher productive human beings, then why can’t the neighborhood crack dealers, pimps, child molesters and politicians?
They game the legal system the old fashioned way; they just buy preferential treatment for people who have never done anything productive and simply waste resources by virtue of their very existence.
Numerous federal and state statutes prohibit me from expressing my true feelings about Lord Erzinger of Flatulence Mountain – not to mention Mark “leave off the ‘bert’; I think most people will from now on” Hurlbert – so I’ll leave it there.