…And in Other News, a Porn Version of ‘The Manchurian Candidate’ Begins Filming in Tucson on Monday

The Attack of the Manchurian Penis

but only if Manchuria turns out to be somewhere in Kenya…

or something like that.

They don’t call Arizona the “meth lab of Democracy” for nothing — where else could a lack of foreskin prove citizenship?

Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona — despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president — was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments [to a ‘birther bill’]: if you can’t find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack foreskin will suffice.

A circumcision certificate — a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony —  is not a legal document (see an example of one here) but if you have one, under the amended bill, it’s apparently enough to prove you’re a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.

Some other ways to prove that you’re not a Kenyan version of the Manchurian Candidate, as spelled out in the ridiculous bill, could be to provide a hospital birth record, a postpartum medical record, or an early census record.

See the amended version of the bill here.

Bring in the ghost of John Holmes and make it a zombie teabagger flick (here, with both definitions of “teabagger” being in play.)

One Response to …And in Other News, a Porn Version of ‘The Manchurian Candidate’ Begins Filming in Tucson on Monday

  1. […] rest is here: …And in Other News, a Porn Version of 'The Manchurian Candidate … This entry was written by VnaLazy and posted on April 14, 2011 at 8:36 pm and filed under […]

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