How’s That ‘Pray for Rain’ Thingee Workin’ Fer Ya, Gov. Hairball?

From the Houston Chronk:

Just about every other day for six years, a retired teacher has faithfully carried a trunk load of cracked corn and bread to feed ducks and turtles populating a 15-acre retention pond at a Spring airport.

Roberta Pitzak grew attached to every duckling, as she watched generations of these “yellow fuzzballs of energy” hatch. Her brood also recognized her – mobbing her blue teal Astrovan whenever she arrived. “Here babies,” she’d say, and they would happily come each time.

Some of her ducks migrated. But the majority never left that pond at Hooks Memorial Airport despite the roar from jets on a runway a few yards away.

But the 61-year-old Pitzak’s eyes now glisten with tears. Her golden pond of serenity where locals have enjoyed wildlife for years has been transformed into a moonscape of cracked mud. The record drought and heat has shrunk the pond to a mere 10-foot mudhole that might completely disappear in two weeks.

The drought has taken a massive toll on this state, from billion-dollar losses in agriculture to fueling wildfires in all corners of Texas. But it’s in these small, personal tales of suffering that the drought has seared into our psyche.

But Gov. Hairball says prayer is all that’s needed.

How’s that ‘Pray for Rain’ thingee workin’ fer Gov. Hairball?

Well, some creatures have to live outdoors in a mud puddle while the temperature reaches over 100 degrees every day for over a month…

And some don’t.

Ditto for living (and eventually dying) on Texas’ Death Row as an innocent man.

7 Responses to How’s That ‘Pray for Rain’ Thingee Workin’ Fer Ya, Gov. Hairball?

  1. Oh Katrina, I pray each and every day for your soul’s salvation, and not solely because your legal skills would be so valuable to Our Team in Christ!

    Surely you are aware that prayer, to be effective, must reach the ear of Our Lord In Heaven accompanied by an appropriate attitude and a humbled self… have we done our part to enforce His injunctions, and scour Our Community clean of Sin?

    Are there perhaps homosexuals living among us unbeknownst to us, contaminating our intercourse with Our Father? And witches: He strongly disapproves of witches!

    Is it plausible that He would attend to the pleas of a community tolerating such evils among His Flock?


    Yours in prayer,

    Most Sincerely –
    Lurleen Blayk

    PS: And can you believe that there are restaurants in the Great State of Texas where shrimp are openly consumed, and that trawlers daily go forth into the Gulf of Texas daily to harvest them?


    • Megan says:

      Oh, and don’t forget that the state’s most popular pastime involves the skin of a dead pig, either. Unclean!

      • Katrina Rose says:

        I thought the state’s most popular pastime involved turning the skin of living innocent people into the skin of dead people – with the help a needle and a chemical cocktail.

  2. Kathleen says:

    Be careful – He’s “the roughest, toughest he-man stuffest hombré that’s ever crossed the Rio Grande. An’ I don’t mean Mahatma Gandhi.”

  3. is it true that Gov Goodhair uses a wide stance in the bathroom?

    • (exasperation)

      Such calumnies directed against our Elected Leaders are totally unacceptable in polite discourse, ‘mam!

      Yes, it is true that Governor Goodhair routinely resorts to a wide stance within the stalls; but only because otherwise, when he gets intensely into beseeching God for guidance and disaster assistance and whatnot, he gets a bit unstable, and tends to fall off the pot.

      Embarrassing, to say the least, but wholly defensible!

      Lurleen Blayk

    • Katrina Rose says:

      is it true that Gov Goodhair uses a wide stance in the bathroom?

      I dunnow…

      When I attended Texas A&M back in the 1980s there were rumors about certain men’s rooms in the Academic Building.

      While almost nothing would surprise me about Gov. Hairball, based on what has come out recently about Gov. Hairball’s grades while he was in College Station a decade or so earlier I doubt seriously if he ever set foot (or feet – widely stanced or narrow) in the Academic Building.

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