I’m Sure He Just Needs the Extra $7,699 Per Month to Maintain His Hair

And maybe even a really creepy looking painting as well.

Rick the Prick: Grifter Extraordinaire.

Unbeknownst to most Texans, Gov. Rick Perry officially retired in January so he could draw early pension benefits worth $7,699 a month, in addition to his annual governor’s salary of $150,000.

Perry’s January retirement — on paper, at least — was revealed Friday when the Federal Elections Commission released the financial disclosure statement the governor was required to file as a candidate for the Republican nomination for president. The annuity brings Perry’s total state government-related income to $242,388 a year

Oh, but it gets better:

Perry, 61, and his staff brushed off the criticism, with the governor telling ABC News, “I think it’d be rather foolish to not access what you’ve earned.”

Campaign spokesman Ray Sullivan said the governor decided to take his state employee retirement annuity “as part of his standard financial planning.” He began drawing the annuity on Jan. 31, and the package, Sullivan said, is consistent with Texas state law and Employee Retirement System rules. Perry continues to pay into the Employees Retirement System with a 6.5% withholding from his state salary.

The combination of Perry’s U.S. military service, state service and age exceeded the state-required 80 years and qualified him for the annuity, Sullivan explained.

Perry has been on Texas’ public payroll since 1985, including stints as a state representative, agriculture commissioner and lieutenant governor before ascending to the governor’s office in 2001.

His U.S. military service?

Why exactly should something lacking direct connection to state government aid the increasingly-lysergic hairball in his quest to double-fuck Texas taxpayers?

Well…

Can we now presume that Mr. I’m-so-fucking-family-values-cocky-that-I-can-telegraph-hots-for-Tim-Tebow-while-a-book-is-being-released-about-my-closeted-sexuality is going to claim that the only reason he is a professional politician is that Mitt Romney’s job-destroying company wouldn’t hire him out of prejudice against hollow eggs lain by Texas A&M’s Corps of Cadets?

Stay tuned.

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