The fact that its satire is irrelevant. From Facebook:
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrongby Will McGarvey on Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 10:12pm10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong (reposting Mitchell Sturges)
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning [and, Kat adds: George W. Bush’s Texan-ness, John Boehner’s skin color, inter-league baseball, soccer-style placekicking and heavier-than-air flying machines].
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal [and, Kat adds, fathers still have the right to kill their children for disobedience].
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages [and, Kat adds: prisons] aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children [and, Kat (and, by extension, Harvey Milk) adds: no non-priest has ever raised a child who became a priest and no non-nun has ever raised a child who became a nun].
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America. [But, Kat cautions, christianists actually do believe that there is only one religion – here or anywhere else – and anything other than christianist is just a ‘faith.’]
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.
Or something like that.
It could be two lonely bats in a bin inside the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers’ dugout last night before their game at Veterans Memorial Stadium in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, against the Kernels.
It could be that some weird Warner Bros. cartoon monster with three-foot-extender eyeballs was lurking inside a bin inside the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers’ dugout last night before their game at Veterans Memorial Stadium in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, against the Kernels.
Unlike the matter of what HRC really is, was and always will be – this is open for debate.
From The Daily Mash:
PLANS to build a state-of-the-art library next to Republican catastrophe Sarah Palin are causing outrage across mainstream America.
Campaigners have described the project as insensitive and a deliberate act of provocation by people with brains.
President Obama has caused unease within his own Democratic party by endorsing the library and claiming that not everyone who reads books is responsible for calling Mrs Palin a fuckwit nutjob nightmare of a human being.
But Bill McKay, a leading member of the right-wing Teapot movement, said: “Sarah Palin is a hallowed place for Americans who can’t read.
The pro-library people could be really insensitive and call it the Bill Hicks Memorial Waffle House.
I guess the only thing that would have enhanced this cartoon that Jillian Weiss points to at Bilerico would be if the Olive Oyl one was wearing an HRC t-shirt (or perhaps one from Nova Southeastern School of Law):
Was one attempt to bring Myra Breckinridge to the screen enough? Apparently not.
From The Advocate:
“The wizened beauty of the natural order of the film industry’s meritocracy has shone through once again,” Earl Lindner, a publicist for Paramount exclaimed in accompaniment to the studio’s announcement that Israel Luna, a former gay prostitute who has gained notoriety for his empowering low-budget epic Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives, has been tapped to direct a big-budget remake of the 1970 anti-classic Myra Breckinridge. “Luna has proven that he, perhaps better than anyone currently in the film industry, understands what transsexualism is really all about. This will aid him greatly in crafting the ultimate tool to creatively educate America about transsexualim.”
No casting decisions have been made, though insiders say that Jim Carrey has expressed interest in Buck Loner (played by John Huston in the 1970 version) and 1970’s Myra, Raquel Welch has been contacted about the role of Letitia Van Allen, notoriously protrayed in the original by Mae West. Most interestingly, regarding the title role serious discussions have taken place with noted drag queen RuPaul and Anthony Tyler Quinn, who once played a transgender character in the short-lived FOX television series Ask Harriet.
“I feel the time has come for a new attempt to capture the essence of Myra Breckinridge in celluloid format,” Vidal said from his vacation home in Italy. “Clearly, one of the problems with the 1970 version was that director Michael Sarne – as well as the gang of nobodies he had in his drug-infested orbit – were under the delusion that there actually is such a thing as a transsexual. I’m almost 85 and the closest I’ve come to a vagina was my occasional close proximity to William F. Buckley’s brain in front of ABC’s news cameras back in 1968 and even I don’t believe that there’s such a thing as a homosexual, much less a transsexual.
And, it looks like the Luna-tick himself is already all hot and moist over the notion of being illegitimately legitimized even further:
“I had to wipe away tears when it became official” Luna said during an early-morning interview conducted in the men’s room at the Dallas bar J.R.’s. “I’m just your ordinary gay guy who hates to see other gay guys cut off their dicks. Paramount deserves a Nobel prize for giving me the opportunity to get my message out to as wide of an audience as possible.”
And apparently the big guns are going to be employed to make sure that Ticked-Off Quasi-Tranny With Dildo: The Next Generation actually happens:
Noted corporate lobbyist, former head of the Recording Industry Association of America and Human Rights Campaign (HRC) insider Hilary Rosen has decided to tak a leave from her recently-undertaken duties of media spinning for BP following the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster to help Isreal Luna pre-emptively attack the likely critics of his newest project, a remake of the 1970 transsexual-themed movie Myra Breckinridge.
“I initially decided to turn down the Myra Breckinridge project,” Rosen said in an interview this weekend, “but after Tony Hayward allowed himself to be seen in public with his yacht, I decided that BP was a lost cause. And, I recall vividly what all of those lowlife transsexual bloggers did to those wonderful scholars Michael Bailey and Alice Dreger a few years ago – and what some of them did to Mr. Luna to try to prevent his current movie from being shown. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t use my skills to make sure that a fine young gay talent like that never has to suffer such an indignity again.”
“And, of course,” she added with a sparkly wink reminiscent of Sarah Palin, “the price was right.”
I did notice one item about this impending mess that seems a bit saner than the actual notion of a Myra remake:
Upon learning of the impending Luna-hemled remake of Myra, transsexual legal historian Katrina Rose, known for conclusively disproving the historical underpinning of the homosexual-centric politico-legal strategy of ‘incremental progress,’ remarked, “The ENDABlog post about a remake of Myra Brekinridge is filed under ‘satire.’ However, be honest with yourselves: Until this was pointed out to you, I bet you believed every word of it was real.”