For Your Tuesday Night Viewing Pleasure This Spring

January 5, 2012

 Wow.  I hadn’t heard about this one

Perhaps NBC was banking on Rick Perry floating to the top of the Republican primary field?

I dunnow….

LOS ANGELES (APE) – The end of the original Law and Order and the severe re-tooling of Law and Order: SVU hasn’t stopped NBC from going to the Law and Order well one more time.  However, the peacock network is letting the bucket drop deeper this time – far past Law and Order: LA and Law and Order: UK – and is supplementing what comes up with a few things from other wells, some perhaps less familiar than others.

Shades of the legendary 24 and the long-gone, single-season cult favorite Murder One, the new series will deal with a single case throughout the course of a 26-episode season.  Adding to the departure from the ‘all legal matters gets neatly solved in one hour in large cosmopolitan cities’ formula of all of the previous L&O series, Law and Order: CSA takes the franchise below the Mason-Dixon Line. 

To Dallas, Texas.

And, in a major gamble, the network is going to roll out the new show during May sweeps this year with muliple episodes per week initially (Millionaire circa 1999, anyone?) and a targeted conclusion during the August doldrums, prompting some speculation that the series – which seemingly has sprung out of nowhere to be rushed into production in secrecy – is merely a pre-emptive strike against TNT’s revival of Dallas, set to debut in the summer.

Of course the show’s locale and debut timing aren’t the only aspects of Law and Order: CSA that are raising eyebrows.  Hints about the season-long case that will be the focus of the series are not sitting well in some circles.  However, the team behind the show are pre-emptively pushing back.

“This plot is not anti-gay,” a highly-placed source within the production company said.  “How much clearer can we be?  The defendant in the series – a male preacher – is not gay!  He’s married to his female high school sweetheart – and, I might add, they have the perfect heterosexual WASP family: one teenaged daughter, who is a cheerleader.  He simply sodomizes the young boys in a religious ritual.  This has nothing to do with the gay community, so I don’t know why the gays are getting upset.  And it really makes me angry that people are judging the show before they’ve seen it.”

Clearly frustrated when interviewed, the source added, “We’re not trying to crank out a show that is going to negatively affect the lives of a discriminated-against minority? What the hell do they think this is going to be?  Another Work It?”

I guess the only thing missing is the ghost of Brandon Tartikoff describing the show as “MTV Redneck Lawyers.”

Well, that and a timer to gauge how long it will take for the author of this:

So the trans community has found something else in gay culture to be offended by, and we’re all supposed to bend over backwards? Please Mary. Oh no. Has the phrase Please Mary also been outlawed? Queue the trans outrage. 

Drag has a long and comic history for gays and for straights. It’s fun and silly and in no way offensive. A reminder not to take gender so seriously, it’s a subset of camp called gender bending, both of which are glorious traditions that we shouldn’t surrender.

Sure, I want trans folk in our community. But they don’t deserve to be while they detest us. They regularly spit hatred at everything gay, at Savage, Barney F, and at innocent chunks of our culture. The question above is another example of their contempt. When will you people call them to account for it?

and/or the author of this:

This gender identity thing is a recent invention, and they have now become the fatal anchor on the gay and lesbian boat.

to figure out that the majority of my post is satire.


He’s Investment Class and (Faux) Working Class….

November 8, 2011

As a follow up to this post, I had to give “The ’68 Nixon” the full Romney treatment – in no small part because of something that I think should be a first-degree felony: detached-from-reality millionaires dressing down in order to con the rabble into thinking that said millionaires have any use whatsoever for said rabble.

Multimillionaire Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney (R) told employees at a steel fabrication plant on Monday that government employees “are making a lot more money than we are.”

Romney’s desire to appear as a regular American has caused him to make a series of gaffes this year.

In June, he told a group of unemployed people in Florida that he was “also unemployed.”

Returning to Florida in September, the candidate claimed that he was part of the middle class.

The former Massachusetts governor has a net worth estimated at up to $250 million.

Yes, he’s far more than a candidate…

He’s a class-(un)conscious crowd.

Now, with full apologies to John Denver, here are my full and complete lyrics to “The 2012 Romney” (which only work if you say “twenty-twelve” instead of “two-thousand-twelve”, but I digress…):

“The 2012 Romney” (sung to the tune of Denver, Boise and Johnson’s “The ’68 Nixon”)

Hi there voters, how do you feel?
Tired of the same old vote appeal?
Well look who’s back with a brand new style
A brand new look and a brand new smile

It’s the 2012 Romney, everything is new
A brand new image just created for you
A dozen different finishes and lots of fine spin
He’s got a brand new doggie, in a brand new travel bin

Now the Perry can ramble, the Herman can grope
But Mitt can jump from left to right and manage to cope
His ’94 production was liberal lite
His ’08 was fueled with faux-christianist spite
The third time’s a charm and if it’s charm that you like

You’ll like the 2012 Romney, he’s different this year
The 2012 Romney is here and he is liberal and conservative
He’s humble and he’s proud
He’s more than just a candidate, he’s a crowd

Yes, he’s the 2012 Romney a brother to man
So run and see him quick before he changes again
In every town and hamlet he is soon to appear
The 2012 Romney, he’s different this year
The 2012 Romney, guaranteed not to smear
The 2012 Romney is here

The preceding was a paid political denouncement.

Okay, that last part’s a lie.  I don’t get paid squat.


Breaking News Regarding the Economy

August 30, 2011

Major activity in DC today:

WASHINGTON (APE) – Today, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D – Calif.) introduced a sweeping economic bill, which includes:

  1. Elimination of all welfare
  2. Elimnination of all unemployment insurance
  3. Elimination of all student loan programs
  4. Elimination of Medicare and Medicaid
  5. Elimination of Social Security
  6. Elimination of the federal flood insurance program
  7. A complete restructuring of the national tax structure in which federal and state taxes are paid only by those making less than $50,000 per year and the federal government will penalize any state or local governments that attempt to levy taxes of any kind on anyone making above $50,000 per year.

At a press conference shortly after the bill’s introduction, President Obama gave it his full endorsement.

Immediately thereafter, House Speaker John Boehner (R – Ohio), called the House into emergency session, bringing the measure straight to the floor for a vote, in which the measure was soundly defeated – before anyone in the Republican majority bothered to read it.

A short time ago, Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R – Va.) issued a press release in which he stated, “DOH!”


I Wonder: How Many ‘Rock-n-Roll Republicans’ Won’t Be Able To Discern That This Is Satire?

April 14, 2011

Those who don’t engage in economic treason should be able to figure out the source for this item:

Steve Smalls, a senior vice-president at Chicago’s Alliance Manufacturing, the world’s largest producer of industrial refrigeration systems, is a self-described “blues nut.”

With his regular table at Dan Aykroyd’s House Of Blues, vast CD collection featuring the likes of B.B. King, Bonnie Raitt, and Jonny Lang, and framed photo of himself with Stevie Ray Vaughan, Smalls has been “a huge fan” of the music for more than 20 years.

But the 43-year-old Smalls is not merely a blues lover: With his May 1999 relocation of Alliance’s main assembly plant from Cicero, IL, to Hermosillo, Mexico, Smalls put 2,700 mostly black employees out of work, making him one of Chicago’s greatest blues causers.

Pausing to enter a favorite Buddy Guy song on the jukebox, Smalls explained why the music resonates so strongly with him. “In 1996, when Alliance was indicted for illegally burying dozens of 200-gallon drums of deadly freon near Chicago’s South Side, I was losing a lot of sleep. There was even talk of some of the top brass getting fired. We got out of it, of course, paying a token fine, but that was a rough experience. At that point, I really felt like I knew what it’s like to have the blues.”

Smalls is so committed to causing the blues that in the early ’90s, he used illegal price-fixing tactics to drive smaller refrigeration-systems companies out of business, causing additional unemployment and poverty among the nation’s blacks.

“Blues music is all about pain: It’s about losing your job, your dog dying, and your woman leaving you for another man,” he continued. “Listening to the blues, I can almost imagine what it would be like to experience one of those things.”

The sound you’re now hearing is Mitt Romney preparing a commercial pointing out that Smalls’ life is a microcosm of what life under a Romney Administration would be.


Randolph? Or Ken?

February 3, 2011


It Makes Sense…

January 25, 2011

Trust me 🙂


G.E. Plans to Purge Company of Wikileaks Supporters

December 9, 2010

From the Kingsport News:

General Electric Co. today announced it will immediately fire all admitted Wikileaks contributors, suppliers and defenders and will suspend employees who refuse to testify under oath on such matters when queried in public hearings conducted by competent government authority,” reported the Fitchburg Sentinel on December 9, 2010. “At the same time, General Electric called on the federal government to establish in an independent security agency procedures which would give such suspended persons an opportunity to be cleared and reinstated.

Walter J. Campbell, manager of employee and community relations of the Fitchburg GE works, outlined the specific action by the company against Wikileaks and those suspected of affiliations with Julien Assange as follows: Effective immediately, General Electric policy provides for discharge of any employee who admits being a Wikileaks contributor, supplier or defender, and for a 90-day suspension, with no loss of straight time average weekly earnings, for two other groups or employees: (1) Those who are identified publicly under oath before a congressional committee or other governmental authority as Wikileaks contributors, suppliers and defenders[…] (2) those who invoke the Fifth Amendment in refusing to testify concerning Communist affiliations, espionage or sabotage[…]”

Okay, well not exactly.  It was more like this:

General Electric Co. today announced it will immediately fire all admitted Communists, spies and saboteurs and will suspend employees who refuse to testify under oath on such matters when queried in public hearings conducted by competent government authority,” reported the Fitchburg Sentinel on December 9, 1953. “At the same time, General Electric called on the federal government to establish in an independent security agency procedures which would give such suspended persons an opportunity to be cleared and reinstated.

Walter J. Campbell, manager of employee and community relations of the Fitchburg GE works, outlined the specific action by the company against Communists and those suspected of Communist affiliations as follows: Effective immediately, General Electric policy provides for discharge of any employee who admits being a Communist, spy or saboteur, and for a 90-day suspension, with no loss of straight time average weekly earnings, for two other groups or employees: (1) Those who are identified publicly under oath before a congressional committee or other governmental authority as Communists, spies, or saboteurs[…] (2) those who invoke the Fifth Amendment in refusing to testify concerning Communist affiliations, espionage or sabotage[…]

And, the article in question didn’t appear today; it appeared on Dec. 10, 1953:

Be honest with yourselves, though, and ask yourself this question: How many election cycles will it take before our corporate overlords feel comfortable enough to ‘go there’ again?

In your hearts, you know what the answer is.